says who?

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Results

Ibu called to inform me about my former school's SPM result. Eventhough the overall national result has tremendously improved (straight A1s and As achievers doubles from last year's), there hasn't much improvement in terms of quality for my school. What can I say, my batch is still the best! Unbeatable, the record is still ours. But still, reading the reports in the newspapers, one thing I can say is those kids are getting smarter and smarter each days. It'll even come to a period where straight As in SPM is just as common as straight As in PMR.

Reading their comments in the newspapers, I just can resist laughing hysterically. "Saya melakukan persediaan secukupnya dengan mempunyai jadual belajar sendiri dan melakukan perbincangan dengan rakan-rakan." C'mon, I would say that's almost true for boarding school students, but for a daily school students?? naah... sure tuition class one! 'perbincangan berkumpulan'? Well my definition of that would be talking endlessly and unneccesarily about something other than Fizik, Kimia, Biologi or Matematik Tambahan.

I might sound extreme or predilection or bias, but that's how I see things when I was in my high school. And I still couldn't get it when I was in high school when ppl said that I am soooo industrious. Yes I had a lot of work, but none academic. It was a very anti-work attitude during that time, and most of my studying was covered in my tuition classes. Yes I was such a lazy bone back then. I believed my flying colours SPM result is a trial given to me by Allah. Hope I survive this one.

All in all, I am happy for those juniors who just got their result. Actually the link I provided above is an article about a sister of one of my long time good friend whose now in KMB, getting 10A1 1A2. Hope that those who are not in the 'straight As/A1s' league will not feel exrucified, after all it's just another exam. It is important, but there are simply much more waiting for us ahead than just SPM results.

Ufah @ 11:45 AM | comment link here

Saturday, February 28, 2004

Technocracy

'heya ufah! God, i miss u! this my new no, internet access is still being fixed hopefully can get online tomorrow, hav so much to tell...' that's more or less of the SMS I received from Ada in Sydney. phew, she's finally there! And I am so happy to get the msg, it's amazing how mere words can actually lighten up somebody's life! Life has been quite predictable and mundane these days...

My chaletmate and I was talking about how we want our name to appear on the front cover of our college Yearbook. There's an acquaintance who put 'Mr.___' for his Yearbook name. It made me realize that he'll stay Mr forever, but the girls won't stay Miss in perpetuum, since she'll eventually turn into Mrs. Why do guys get to stay the same even after they get married, while girls have to change??

Anyway kak Azila in Southampton has linked my blog to hers, but I'm still figuring out how to do that. Hehe hafta admit I am such a slowlearner, but I know I'll learn eventually.

Ufah @ 8:46 AM | comment link here

Friday, February 27, 2004

Crash & Burn

yea I've successfully burned an audio CD for my chaletmate, Sinyi for the first time using the CD RW driver of my new laptop! *clapp*

Ufah @ 12:13 PM | comment link here

Counterbalance

Been very tired, I even accidently slept on the study table (imagine, study table!) this morning when I woke up at 415am since I've slept relatively early that night. Slept on the table until 630am. Woke up, done some Physics and get prepared to class. Purposely get early to class when I remembered that 'Please look into your Transition Elements exercise classssss (the one and only Garnet housemaster cum my beloved Chemistry teacher)' voice that I heard yesterday was rewinded in my mind. Uh huhh... trouble..

By the way Mr Amran just turn a year older yesterday (dunno what's his year of birth, anyway age is just a number). No wonder he was very chirpy in class. Felt somewhat guilty for not wishing him during class, since last year we all sang 'Happy Birthday' to him when he entered the lab. fuhh... anyway many birthdays coming, more -teens turning -ty, but mine will only be in 6 months time *grin*

Ufah @ 10:42 AM | comment link here

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Don't worry be happy

Why is it difficult for people to accept views which might differ from their understanding? Problems with grown ups - a slight, innocent and sincere comment might cause them to freak out and label us as 'rude and egoistic piece of brat'. Well not that we're trying to question their credibility, but it was meant to be an honest inquiry with regards to some vague and unneccesary misunderstanding. It's extremely difficult enough to make people change, so should I play it down according to their rythm? Well, among 7 habits of highly successful teenager (or so I thought it sounded as) is to begin with end in mind. Think long term then.

Ufah @ 5:37 PM | comment link here

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Mental fatigue

I felt so tired. So helplessly exhausted. Suddenly my mind is empty, I felt very much disorientated. The strongest feeling at this time is just to stop doing everything, and collect my thought (if I have one). Late nights, caffeine, paper 5 9702. And the drawbacks occur at a very inconvenient time – 4 days before my Imperial College interview and Mock exams. Welcome mental fatigue. And how I hate planning and design.

Ufah @ 5:23 PM | comment link here

Monday, February 23, 2004

She's leaving

My bestfriend's leaving for Sydney today, 9.00pm. The thought of not going to see her for at least the next 4 years is unbearable. We've been through a lot and the last thing I would want is not being able to reach her easily whenever I needed her. She's one superb friend, and there's almost nothing that I can hide from her and she's sooo understanding. In school, she was the criminal, I'm the 'law enforcer'. But she always ended up being my partner in crime :P I haven't found anyone who knows when to talk to me or when's not, when should she hurry up through things or when to jaywalk. Some people keep on jaywalking, and I certainly can't live with that. She certainly the Miss Popular everywhere she goes and I have to admit that there's certain a circle of my friends whom I know due to her. But she's absolutely much more than that. To my bestest fren, I'm gonna miss you very much.

Ufah @ 1:49 PM | comment link here

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Pure and Applied

My maths teacher just finds it natural to tease me. Not that I'm offended, since I'm amused sometimes :P I still remember clearly during my early days in KMYS when I had this terrible running nose and kept on sneezzing during his class while he was explaining something on Trigonometry. The sneeze was continuous and somewhat periodic, and he just nonchalantly said "Aulfah, I'll try to rhyme with your sneeze ok?" duhhh?

Another unforgettable experience would be when I asked him about this one numerical method question yesterday.

me: Sir, how to calculate the height of this function?
him: oh...bla bla yada yada............. so that comes to 1 + 4h = 13 so you can solve for h.
me:oh, ok.. and that'll be twelve over four... (nodding my head and busy starting to continue the workout)
him: yes, twelve over four, which is?????
me (not looking up, buried in the maths paper): h is twelve over four...
him: which is????
me (innocently): which is h ?
him: bleeuurrgghhhh... h is twelve over four which is h ???
me: oh, which is three... hihihiihhi
him: oh aulfah...

and he made a promise to tell the joke to his other class but remained the ppl involved anonymous... :)

Ufah @ 5:34 AM | comment link here

Friday, February 20, 2004

Once upon a time when I was drained

Being a Cambridge applicant : Part 2.

No one told me that applying to Cambridge is all what it takes. There is so much more in it. Applying is just the beginning of a violent and less travelled path. Initially my intention was just to experience the process, and fill another space of university choice in my UCAS form. Well, engineering students will have 6 choices of universities and losing one to Cambridge is no big deal as at the end of the day we can only hold on to 2 definite choices. The probability of getting minimum five offers is almost certain.

Certainly, ‘experiencing the process’ needs a refined definition. It means HARD work, less sleep, tremendous pressure from teachers and also indirectly from your peers. They might not pressure me directly, but I felt pressurized, all the time. Being an applicant will conform me to a position where I should fulfil that certain standard of a Cambridge applicant. You are expected to know almost everything, and even if it’s something difficult to other student, as someone who is eligible to apply to Cambridge it should be something I am well verse in. I’m starting to realized how many chapter I have not studied, in the same time trying to cover the incoming syllabus on my own in order to prepare for the interview. It also shows how relaxed I am when I was in my 1st year of A Level. It was a very much anti-work attitude during that time, which made me feel disappointed and hope to change if I can go back in time. I’m starting to read as much as I can about extra knowledge on sciences and other topics for the interview, regretting why I did not practice the habit of reading earlier. Improving spoken and written English is another tough job, as language skills is not something you can acquire in 3 months time.

On the bright side of it, I can improve much of myself tremendously than I could in the last semester. Likewise, these experiences reveal where I am standing now, and become the driving force for me to work not harder, but the hardest. Still, working hardest is not hard enough from my point of view. I always see others working extra harder than me, and I don’t know to what extent I am able to go until I see myself working as hard as I should. I am never happy with my performance, but I am grateful that I have at least pull off little achievements even though it will take a lot more to steps to accomplish what I regard as ‘great’ in my dictionary. Maybe I am a perfectionist, or maybe I am just a nobody who thought I am a somebody.

Ufah @ 8:24 AM | comment link here

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Happy!

I'v been moaning about problems yada yada ... now I'm so happy because its all over! Well sort of :) To cut long story short, I have to say patience is a virtue. And if you really mean it, your prayers will be granted. I am so grateful cause Allah showed me the way and ease my job. This whole crap which befalled me certainly makes me stronger, emotionally, and made me realize that I have a lot of supportive friends around me. You guys are the best and will always remain in my heart. How I celebrated the victory? Took a little more rice during dinner just now. And I'm full. And grateful :)

Ufah @ 12:25 PM | comment link here

Dependence

Sometimes there's time where I think I have no one to turn to. Everything so blurry and confusing. How could I forget that Allah will always be with me??? The best confidante you can get. I asked for strength, and He gave me difficulties to make strong. I asked for wisdom, and He gave me problems to solve. I received nothing I wanted, but everything I needed. My prayer has been answered.

Ufah @ 5:13 AM | comment link here

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

I asked for wisdom, Allah give me problems to solve..

Reputation really counts. I will say if there's anything that I should sacrifice, reputation will be among the last one. There no second chance to the first impression vs Dont judge a book by its cover. Apparently the latter is the more prominent one. Due to this, I have difficulty in dealing with ppl of known past rep, and it sadly made me prejudice towards him. Problem problem. Problem with ppl's rep, problem with the organization's rep. Absolutely not mutually beneficial. Which one should i put more weight on??

Ufah @ 4:59 AM | comment link here

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

kunang kunang terchenta...

yesterday my tutorial grup went to kuala selangor to watch fireflies! it was so nice of dr foord to bring us there, and for the first time im not the only girl in the grup teeheheh coz we merged with mrs foord's grup in which the girls outnumbered the boys, and all of them are medics. that's the virtue of doing medical subject as there will surely be more girls. just hafta accept the fact that me and the other engineering girls will always be the minority in our course.

mrs foord : u'r well acquinted with this lot, ufah?
me : yeah, i'v known them all well... *grin*
mrs foord to her tutees : u know, we were always feel sorry for ufah as she's the only girl in her group with other 8 boys, so she has to be very strong..
me : heh heh... :P

the fireflies were sooooo mesmerizing... RM10 for 1/2 an hour boat ride was worth it. the sky was extraordinarily bright, thus stars were just as captivating. i got very 'jiwang' with stars sometimes as i know however i view it from malaysia, it'll be exactly the same (more or less) with someone else viewing it from the other side of the world....;)

Ufah @ 9:26 AM | comment link here

about

Ufah Azman, Imperial College London